A Heart Still Breaking

This is the hardest post I have written. I have been debating for a long time whether to write it or not. I will have to tell a secret on myself and that is hard. But maybe it will help me heal a little more.


A year ago I went to the emergency room. No one knew I was going but John and the kids. I was having heart palpatations, hurting between my shoulders and short breath, and I had been experiencing it for about a week. My family was worried and I was concerned myself. This particular day it just seemed worse. After spending the whole afternoon there - all tests came back fine. I was so embarassed, I felt like an idiot.
What was wrong with me? I made my family all promise to not tell anyone. They all got upset with me for feeling that way about myself.


But with the tests all fine, we knew what the problem was. I was grieving for my mother. We all grieve differently. There is no right or wrong way. I tend to hold it in, put up a good front. I seem to do fine most of the time. February 15 - her birthday, I am fine. April 5 - the day she passed, I tend to do fine because it is John's birthday and I focus on that. But Mother's Day just seems to hurt so bad.


No, May 11, 2008- Mother's Day - I was not having a heart attack - I just had a heart still breaking.


Gratitude: I am so thankful Violet Farr was my mother.


Prayer: Dear Lord, please continue to heal all our broken hearts.